Summer Flings and a Really Fuckin’ Good Burger

Review

It’s still tax season.

My life is still spent either filing taxes, or on the way to/from filing taxes, but on the bright side, I had the best burger of my life.


So I took a night off and went out for dinner with some other tax-grunts to bitch about our lives.

Having forgotten that it was Thursday (and the beginning of the long weekend for normal people), our intended destination of Woodwork was booked full, and our backup (Rostizado) didn’t have any tables either.

Oh, and by the way, Rostizado, go fuck yourself.

“We reserve only for groups of 8+”

Yeah, except for the fact that once we got there, you told us about your piece of shit app that makes reservations for groups of less than fucking eight.

Seriously. I’m not going to clog my phone up with some spyware laden turd just so I can get a table at your stupid restaurant.

Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

ANYHOW.

We roamed around the Edmonton downtown area, looking for somewhere to eat and ended up at:


THE BURG

The decor was kind of barn-chic, and the tables/chairs looked like they were hotel surplus.

The building was one of those places where you’re not sure whether it’s a really fucking old building refurbished to look new, or a brand new building that was artfully sandblasted to look old, but to be honest, I don’t really care.

I ordered this:

So many words...

So many words…

 

With a side of home-made potato chips, and a Steigl Radler (pronounced shtee-gul, thanks random waitress).

It came out looking like this:

I didn't clean the sauce stain, sue me.

I didn’t clean the sauce stain, sue me.

I could come up with a paragraph or two talking about how the chipotle in the cheese was accented by the light note of the vanilla in the bacon, and how you could taste the free-ranged, grass-fed glory of the beef, but I’m not, because that’s stupid.

The burger wasn’t good because of the tiny little notes added on, the burger’s good because the key ingredients work well with each other, and this is something I think that many restaurants in this city could learn from.

The bun was crisp on the outside and soft on the inside. The patty was large, juicy and made of high quality meat. The sauces were creamy, savoury and greasy, and the onions were tangy, sweet, and tied the entire thing together.

You would imagine that a large hunk of meat, with cheese, bacon and cream-based sauces would be cloying and greasy, but the sweetness of the onions cut through the grease perfectly and left you wanting more.

And what of the side?

Well, it was kind of mediocre. The chips were more.. crumbly, than crunchy, and were under-seasoned.

But after a burger with that kind of calorical impact, you’re probably not going to need the side.

I just thought we needed a picture here.

I just thought we needed a picture here.


The Good

  • The burger, holy shit, the motherfucking burger.
  • Beer is sorta cheap
  • Relaxed atmosphere

The Bad

  • The sides are mediocre
  • It’s only here for a month

The Ugly

  • The chairs?

The bittersweet truth is that the Messy Bessy is only here for a month.

Like that leggy, freckled blonde girl from tennis camp that one year, she’ll leave a mark on your soul that will never truly leave you.

You can try new things.

You can try to forget about her.

You can even accept it and move on in in your life.

But there will always be some little thing that will catch you off guard.

A fleeting glimpse of color from someone’s scarf on the street, because it happened to be the same shade of blue as her eyes.

The smell of blistex, because she said her lips were always dry.

And then.

Just for a moment or two.

You’ll remember.

You’ll remember what was and what could have been.

You’ll remember what you had lost.

And you’ll know that given the chance to do it all again, you wouldn’t change a single thing.

AHEM.

Yes.

It’s a good burger.

Go try it out.

You’ll never look at caramelized onions the same way again.

Be still my heart.

Be still, my beating heart.

The Burg on Urbanspoon

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4 thoughts on “Summer Flings and a Really Fuckin’ Good Burger

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