Brit’s Fish and Chips – A Long Term Investment

Review

You need to be in a very specific state of mind when you make the conscious decision to eat fish and chips.

Just like how someone needs to be in a specific state of mind when they jump in front of a train.


 

Brits Fish and Chips

I’ll say it now.

I had no idea Brits even existed before my ghetto-savvy coworker educated me on the ins and outs of north-side seafood joints.

Needless to say, my expectations were appropriately low walking into the restaurant.

Located in the classiest of strip-malls by Oliver Square, Brits blends into the faded brick and sadness of the surroundings with its dated sign-age and unimaginative name.

Such class.

Such class.

The interior was equally unimpressive, but to be fair, spotless.

After a short discussion on what bits of long dead aquatic life to order, we settled on the halibut, sole and cod.

Because we’re all grown-ass men and didn’t want to look like little sissies, we ordered two pieces each.

We would later come to regret this.

If you were wondering what it looked like on the inside.

If you were wondering what it looked like on the inside.

After an escapade with a spurting C+ dispenser and a washroom door that just would not open, our food arrived.

As promised, fish AND chips were both present in the basket.

The portions of fish were large, piping hot, and perfectly golden brown and crisp. The batter was airy and almost ephemeral.

All that's missing is some nasty newspaper.

All that’s missing is some nasty newspaper.

My main gripes when ordering battered fish is that the batter is too dense, which leads to a doughy, soggy shell around the fish. There was no such problem at Brit’s.

Even after a hearty splash of vinegar and lemon juice and 15 minutes of sitting on top of fries, the shell remained crisp.

Truly a testament to fish frying technology.

The fillet itself was also nice, if not a bit understated. It was tender and moist and didn’t really taste like anything (and I’m led to believe that this is what most North Americans prefer in seafood).

The fries were an afterthought and were kind of gross. They didn’t have any crunch and were mostly under-cooked.

I’m led to believe that (unlike most establishments) Brits deep-fries their fries only once, leading to a soggy, unappetizing morsel of potato.


 

The Good

  • The fish
  • Unlimited C+ if you buy a pop

The Bad

  • Everything else
  • Everything is greasy as fuck

The Ugly

  • The three hours spent in a vegetative grease-coma immediately following lunch
  • Self loathing after you finish your meal
  • $20+ for fish and chips

 

The aftermath

The aftermath

You would think that 20 some dollars for fish and chips is a bit outrageous, but think of it this way:

Eat at Brit’s, spend $25 on your meal, then NEVER EAT FISH AND CHIPS AGAIN IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IT’S SO FUCKING GREASY HOLY SHIT.

There you go, you’ve potentially saved thousands of dollars over the span of your life.

You’re welcome.

Brit's Fish and Chips on Urbanspoon

 

 

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