MPD and MRKT

Review

Multiple Personality Disorder, or Dissociative Identity Disorder is a psychological condition in which two or more identities are present in an individual. Common symptoms include multiple distinct personality states that take control of an individual’s behaviour as well as dissociative amnesia. As expected, this wreaks havoc in the lives of those affected, and is reflected upon their work, interests and relationships.

Robert Louis Stevenson was ahead of the curve.

Robert Louis Stevenson was way ahead of the curve.

MRKT is a local restaurant that seems to be afflicted by some form of entrepreneurial MPD.


We walked in for lunch and were greeted by one long, cafeteria style table, a black chalk board with today’s offerings, and a few smaller, two-seater tables.

You go to the till to order, and are given a placard and your drink. If you choose to have water, you’re pointed towards a large ceramic water bucket and some tiny, grungy plastic cups.

The menu is scrawled onto the back wall in different colours of chalk, and to be honest, the penmanship is horrid. The words are different sizes, with no respect for kerning, font, capitalization or sane usage of space.

Aaaaaauuuuggghhhhhhhhhhh

Aaaaaauuuuggghhhhhhhhhhh

To top it off, they spelled “Brazilian” wrong, which was especially annoying after they corrected me on my pronunciation of “calabrese”. How about you get your elementary-level English straight before you start lecturing me on my Italian, you dirty hipster scum.

Disgusting.

Disgusting.

Looking past the visual transgressions, the menu contains things like “brown sugar-dijon crusted tiger prawns, served on a mixed-greens orzo pasta salad” and “Brazilian tomato-shrimp bisque”, which seem to clash with the somewhat pedestrian décor and the self-serve mentality.

We ordered the spicy Calabrese and Andouille sausage sandwiches and waited for the servers to screech our number.


Upon pick-up, we were slightly disappointed at the somewhat small portions and unfortunate presentation.

I mean, seriously.

Look at it.

Just look.

There's so many things wrong with this

There’s so many things wrong with this

I would’ve honestly felt better if they just wrapped it in some brown paper and threw the chips on the plate. Instead, you have some accidental sauce smears and a sad, flaccid pickle spear.

The sad part is that I think they really tried. You know the sad fucker putting together the sandwiches in the back put in effort to make the sandwich presentable, and somewhere along the line, they just gave up.

I’m also happy to report that the chips are nothing but the finest stale Old Dutch Rip-L-Chips.

Classy.

Only a 40,000% mark-up too!

The sandwich itself, however, was almost enough to make up for the rest of the experience. The greens were fresh and crisp, the cheese added a nice bite, and the sauce was tart with just enough spice. Combined with the fresh basil, the entire sandwich had a pizza margherita vibe that was honestly quite refreshing.

Still looks like crap though.

Still looks like crap though.

The Good

  • Sandwiches are pretty good and not terribly expensive

The Bad

  • Everything besides the sandwich
  • Who thought serving stale, bagged potato chips would be a good idea?
  • The pickle
  • Slightly confused restaurant concept

The Ugly

  • The ugly-ass back wall that happens to double as a menu
  • Strange self-serve bucket of lukewarm water

At its core, MRKT is a somewhat confused concept. The owners wanted to create some place casual, but they implemented a menu with creative tastes and sit-down food. They wanted to charge near-premium prices, but they have absolutely no service and grungy cafeteria tables. They wanted to be hip and trendy, but they’re just… not.

MRKT is a restaurant that is torn between different ideas and concepts, and sometimes forgets exactly what it is.

But in the end, as long as the food is good, I’ll still stop by occasionally for lunch.

Maybe.

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